Setting Boundaries With The Needier People In Your Life

Today's article comes from a culmination of a week's worth of events. In fact, I'm shocked to see that my last post on our blog was this past Sunday; this isn't like me at all!

So what's been going on to keep me from my passion of posting? Could it be the needs of those in my household? An abundance of work online? Or both?

I have noticed there are many subtle ways your family members can keep you from your tasks at hand. Do they need more attention that "normal" people? Do they have a subconscience desire to sabotage your efforts? Are they just oblivious to the fact that you are working - yes working - just because you sit at your computer inside your house? In other words, do they respect what you are doing?

Establishing any type of business takes time. Gently remind these usurpers of your attention that you are indeed working, and that you have a right to a given amount of alone time to get your tasks done. Be firm. Demand their respect.

One woman I know who personally helped me through a tough time puts it this way: "Set boundaries with that person." In other words, you verbally use the words "I'm setting a boundary with you. When I am working, you will respect that and not interrupt."

The beauty is that's all you need to say. You don't need to make an "or else" finishing statement. The boundary is the statement. The task then becomes your ability to enforce your own boundary. If you set reasonable boundaries, it may take time, but by standing firm, you will gain that needed space to attend to business.

Outside the personal, you may also find yourself tending to more needier people online. Some are brand new and it takes patience, along with a true desire to help them on their own road to success, to communicate. Harking back to the above though, the setting boundaries rule, you may at some point find yourself saying to the very people you are trying to help, "Okay, I'm setting a boundary. Until you apply what I've been telling you, I will have to move on to help the next person. After you've done [whatever it may be], feel free to contact me again."

Unwittingly - or consciously - there are some individuals who will never do anything. Help them to realize this about themselves. Help them make the decision to either act or move on. Think like your mother (hopefully she is or was a strong person in your life with lots of common sense advice).

Don't get me wrong, I spend hours and hours weekly on the phone and writing informative emails to many. It is a joy in my life, but it is also my job. A vast majority respect that, appreciate it, say thank you, and make me feel like a winner. A very small percentage are time wasters.  A percentage within this percentage may have no clue they are time wasters. The other portion are, know it, and still do nothing about it. It's your job to enlighten them.

Don't look at it as being a horrible person. You deserve your family's respect, and the respect of those you help in your business (assuming you really do make a positive difference, as I'm sure you do). Helping others to have a greater sense of "other people's needs" is a wonderful attitude you can help them attain.

Needy people (from my experience) are not happy people. However, when a person can look beyond themselves, help others, and think outside their "human box" marvelous transformations can happen!

Challenge yourself to stick up for yourself. You'll be happier and so will they!

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